I saw a warning on a website to beware of Irish blogs, because they are, in fact, filled with four letter words. Hmm…so Irish equals a foul mouth? Now I wouldn’t agree with that, although it is true you hear a lot more fucks there. What the hell do you want? The shaggers are everywhere, trying to get away with fuck all. Simple truth.
It actually doesn’t seem like a swear word once you get used to hearing it all the time. Some variations might be feck, or just frig or fuck, how the hell do I know? At any rate, you get used to it, and it just seems to fit certain situations, and then creeps into your lexicon of gutturals. So that suddenly you are fecking and blinding along with the best of them until your mother happens to clear her throat. Or you remember your kids are right there. Or your husband is looking at you funny. Not that kind of funny. Hm.
My issue has less to do with the actual words, than with what gender you have to be for the words to get acknowledged. It’s not just in Ireland, it’s what I call the theory of the Swinging Dick. If you don’t have one to swing, nothing you say is ever really taken seriously.
After all, if I say, “Don’t fill the site with dirt, I bought it for the slope,” no one, bloody no one listens.
I go away, I come back. The site has been fucking levelled.
Yeah, well, I’m over it now: I can rise above that one. The next battle will be a true test: Will the tarmacadam driveway run all the way behind the house?
No fucking way.
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